“life will be better in spring”

Jun 17, 2010 Oct 31, 2011 Nov 1, 2011 Nov 2, 2011 Nov 6, 2011 Nov 17, 2011 Nov 19, 2011 Nov 20, 2011 Nov 21, 2011 Nov 23, 2011 Nov 24, 2011 Nov 25, 2011 Dec 2, 2011 Dec 4, 2011 Dec 10, 2011 Dec 17, 2011 Dec 18, 2011 Dec 22, 2011 Dec 23, 2011 Dec 27, 2011 Dec 31, 2011 Jan 1, 2012 Jan 23, 2012 Jan 27, 2012 Jan 31, 2012 Feb 7, 2012 Feb 11, 2012 Feb 25, 2012 Mar 8, 2012 Mar 12, 2012 Mar 14, 2012 Mar 18, 2012 Mar 24, 2012 Apr 1, 2012 Apr 3, 2012 Apr 22, 2012 Apr 30, 2012 May 1, 2012 May 2, 2012 May 3, 2012 May 14, 2012 May 17, 2012 May 19, 2012 May 24, 2012 May 25, 2012 May 29, 2012





Since there's nothing for me to share, I decided to post short stories...

On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.

This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water. We had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy.

But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girl's eyeballs."

Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls." Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so.I moved Dew's hands aside and said, "You go to select some furniture, O.K.? I've got something to do in the company."

Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me.

However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together or, I was lounging before the computer, visualising Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.

One day I said to her in a slight joking way. "Suppose we divorce, what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious.

When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.

Once again, Dew said to me. "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.?" Then we live together. I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.

When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've got something to tell you". She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce.

I raised the serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?" I'm serious. I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me. "You are not a man!"

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.

A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.

She brought up her divorce conditions. She didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month's time we must live as normal life as possible.
Her reason was simple. Our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken.

She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, "I remember." "You carried me in your arms." She continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce." She said scornfully.Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms.

His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly. "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realised that I hadn't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there."

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualisation of Dew became vaguer.
On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded.

The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "It seems not difficult to carry you now." She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter."

I smiled. But I suddenly realised that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart.
Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out." He said.

To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."

I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision.

I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead, "You got no fever." I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew. I can only say sorry to you. I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you."

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cry.

I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The salesgirl asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote. "I'll carry you out every morning until we are old."




Band started yesterday! But oh wait, I no longer need to go back.

But still, went back to visit my dearest saxophonists. Gosh, these guys are so sweet it makes me miss band. Good thing they were having sectionals, hung around for a while and listened to the Sec1's akiyama. Which my dearest ASL claimed they can slur, and in the end I caught so many mistakes, smack his butt sia. Never mind, give him time to learn how to listen.
Unknowingly, I started teaching the Sec1s, shit gotta get use to me not being the SL when I'm around them. I didn't realised the Sec1 was scared of me :/ until Keith said so. Think I'm too strict for her/them.
Gotta go back as much as I can afford, hehe. Gonna miss band so much.

Anyways, realised I haven't post anything on graduation yet. So here goes..

Went back after focus for my last day of band that Monday. That day main band was still going on, so I just went to my seat and sat there listen to them getting scolded. I didn't know what to do, just sat there without my instrument, and it feels so weird.
For what seems like more that what it should be, they finally ended practice and we took like a super long time to settle down cause everyone was talking to each other and the graduates were trying out different instruments. Played with Najah's trumpet and Cheryl's euphonium, and woah! I can buzz (?)! Then after that, all the graduates gathered and presented Mr Tan our graduation gift to him. He received a certificate of excellence, a straw board with all the letters from us and a RSSB'11 photo. HAHA he's like so happy he kept laughing so cute haha! When the band finally settled down, we began talking and blah. So I just sat there with my batchmates until it was my turn and basically crap. I swear 80% of the time I didn't know what I was talking about.
And we had pizza at the canteen and interactive session! So busy giving out letters. Man, I received a piglet from QM Kaimeng and a hug-size bear from my section, so sweet! And also, manymany other sweet and cute letters!
Continued taking photos with my section after we've been chased out of school. Jo said, "I swear they are crazy about you". Made me quite happy ah, haha! Most bonded and awesome section.

So, that's officially my last day in band as a normal member.

Suddenly, that's the end of three and half years in Band. Like, woah! Where did the rest of the time go?
I remember year one was a nightmare, I came in with totally no music background. For some reasons or another, I'm not so good a player as compared to the rest and was often invited out of the music room to practise with my senior T.T Then I got slightly better, but still not too good even though kk stopped inviting me out of the room. So, I sat in the FIRST row in junior band with kk DIRECTLY IN FRONT of me, wth why me again?! Naturally, I was damn scared and kept staring at the score so I won't make so much mistakes. But, it doesn't seem to be of any use cause I'm always the first to be picked out for playing something wrong ._. Sometimes, kk scold me for staring at the score so much too, like, "Is xiaozhu on the score? Keep staring at it for what!" and then I'll be like "I don't like xiaozhu!"
In sec2, I became the sec1 I/C. There's nothing much about this actually, just that I hate it when I'm almost always the one making announcements and talking to the Sec1s.
And out of a sudden, I became the SL in sec3. Wasn't taught anything, just thrown into that stupid position which I used to hate so much cause I didn't know what to do at first. Like, how to listen, how to conduct, how to manage the section. Slowly, I started picking up a teaching style of my own and, my section is awesummmm! Yay a lot people praise my section you know! Kekeke.
Sometimes, I still miss the times with my seniors. It always feels better to have someone on top of you, to guide you, than always being the one everyone in the section looks up to.

There's so much to write and say about band, but I will probably take up too much time.
So bye, RSSB.












     Hi, I'm here because I just want to post something. Hehe sorry for being so childish and lame. Today is Wednesday, yay fried food. Food is nice. And then, there isn't anything much to post about actually. Today, the rest of the school, except the graduating classes are starting their mid-examinations. Hohoho the secondary 3s taking exam in the hall, laugh at them. But they very noisy during their break and I'm having lessons in ITRR1 WTFREAK A BABY LIZARD JUST RAN PASS THE WALL IN FRONT OF ME. And by the time school ends, we're the only students in school.
Damn, my sister's back. Gotta go.



     Hehe, hi, here again. Tmrw's Labour day, so I decided to take a break from work tonight. Realised I have ample of time so yeah. Yay I love holidays like alot alot alot, keke.

     Actually my plan was to write about band. But two long boring posts would probably be... bleh!

     It's May tmrw. I've officially stepped down from band and SCMC to mug for... O's! And I swear life is plain boring now. 9 hours of studying, plus focus, I swear I'm this is %#@$(* crazy. I mean who can imagine surviving so many hours of books and books and more books DAILY for months. But anyways, still gotta pull through somehow.

    Recently, 've been chasing a new drama on Channel U. Another temptation. But it's only on every Saturday night sian. And I'm still planning to watch Glee after O's. Yeeks, so excited! Also recently, went to Somerset during one of the earlier school breaks and I'm so addicted to food :D Sorry this sounds really dumb who doesn't but hehe! We (Jw and I) spent the whole day indulging on food. And the mushroom soup at Snoopy cafe (Chris brown cafe to be exact) was damn nice ah! But my pasta wasn't too much of an excitement, whatever :P Then there's subway at 5, ice cream, popcorn and manymanymore! Can't wait to go on more food dates, licks!

     Yawns, I'm tired.


你不知到我为什么离开你，我解释不能说放任你哭泣





Humility and Initiative.

5 more days to sc'12 <3 Jiayou SCMCs! 

Byebye, off to busy again.